Oh joy, the holidays are upon us. Now, I know what you’re thinking – it’s only October, albeit late October. We haven’t gotten through Halloween yet. But this is the time of year when an oozing dread creeps into my veins. I dread the holiday season. Call me a killjoy, anti-social (that would be an incorrect use of the term, but I’ve been called that), whatever you want. I just don’t enjoy the holidays all that much and I know there are lots of other introverts out there that know exactly why. It’s noisy, it’s WAY too busy, it’s filled with social obligations, many of which seem silly and unnecessary and it’s lost all it’s reverence for what the season and it’s attendant holidays, Christmas in particular, is supposed to symbolize.

I don’t like the endless parties and gatherings, where small talk is expected about dog Santa costumes and how much fun having a raucous snowball fight is. I don’t like feeling obligated to go somewhere just because it’s Thanksgiving or Christmas or Christmas Eve or Solstice or Kwanzaa or Hanukkah (a date or set of dates on the calendar). I’d like to be able to choose whether I will be enjoying those events in the company of a bunch of people, or a select few. Especially when members of the bunches aren’t necessarily people that I like. Yep, it’s true; there are some people that I don’t particularly enjoy. Maybe I’m wrong to feel that way, or to admit it, but there it is. And I know there are other introverts out there that feel the same way… I’m sure that’s not the case for every introvert, but I think we’re more prone to not enjoy being around people who pressure us to be like them, or do what they’re doing, or enjoy what they’re enjoying, all for the sake of fitting in.

So, here is my list of tips for introverts who would prefer to spend the holiday season not running from party to party and pumping up the Christmas carols starting on November 1st.

• Put your foot down to overly excited friends and family and tell them that you will be spending some of the holiday season peacefully by yourself. Period.
• Avoid the malls and shopping centers – they’re an introvert’s worst nightmare during the holidays. Shop online and from catalogs instead, and save yourself a lot of aggravation.
• Don’t feel obligated to go to every party and social gathering you’re invited to. Seriously, you have to pick and choose and balance things or you’re going to be a very burnt out and tired introvert by the time New Year’s Day rolls around.
• When you do go to parties, if you’re going with a spouse or significant other that is an extrovert, make an agreement BEFORE the party regarding how long you will stay and what the signal to leave will be. Also, realize that your extroverted partner is going to be hurt and maybe angry if you don’t play along with the whole holiday cheer bit at least a little – don’t be a complete party pooper.
• Brush up on your small talk and chit chat skills. Just do it and stop whining about how you don’t know how to or you can’t. Yes you can – all introverts can – we just don’t like to (there’s a post to come on social gatherings).
• When it’s time to go to a get-together, dress yourself up, put your best foot forward and promise yourself to enjoy the thing. Seriously, it’s not going to kill you! Just make the effort – you might find that you do have a nice time, or that you meet a new friend that you like (possibly a fellow introvert).
• Get plenty of rest during the holiday season and do things that are relaxing like yoga or reading quietly or going for a solitary walk. Again, don’t overextend yourself just because it’s what’s expected of you by legions of family, friends and co-workers. This is really important during the holiday season.

Extroverts usually find the holidays to be energizing and exciting. That’s their nature – they love the parties and the shopping and the hustle and bustle. Introverts tend to enjoy the quieter aspects of the season – sitting by a fire, watching a favorite classic holiday movie, and taking quiet walks in the snow, or spending a couple hours by ourselves or with a small group of loved ones baking Christmas treats. Both ways are fine – we just like the quiet approach better. And the oozing dread? I continue to acknowledge it even as I try to rein it in. I suppose that extroverts dread some of the things we relish the most, so we’re all even.