I’m happy that my friend Wendy Gelberg has graciously agreed to do a guest post on networking for introverts. Wendy is the author of the book The Successful Introvert, How to Enhance Your Job Search and Advance Your Career, and is a certified career coach, resume writer and introvert.

Networking for the New Year – An Introvert’s Resolution

“Networking –eew!” That’s what I hear from most introverts. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Not if (1) you understand what networking really is, and (2) you do it on your own, introverted, terms.

The image many of us have of networking is of the person who “works the room,” bouncing off person after person, making small talk or talking about himself (or herself), perhaps thrusting a business card in the listener’s hand, and then moving on to the next victim to repeat the process. That person often generates a lot of energy, creates a commotion, and leaves introverts shaking their heads in dismay, reinforcing their conviction that networking is a toxic process and one they’re not skilled at

Here’s the thing. That isn’t networking. Some people may call it that, but it isn’t. Networking is a mutual exchange – and there was nothing mutual in the scene I just described. The most important skill isn’t the ability to glad-hand a lot of people or to make small talk. The most important skill is the ability to listen, something introverts have in abundance.

If you understand that networking is about relationship-building, then the process seems a lot less daunting and a lot more palatable. Think about it. Networking is not superficial. It’s not about using people. And it’s not about making small talk. It IS about being seen as trustworthy and competent and a resource for others – the qualities that all relationships are built on. It’s human nature in most transactions – we prefer to work and play with people we trust. .

If you’re an introvert, replace the image in the earlier paragraph with one that emphasizes smaller group or one-on-one encounters, where you can concentrate on learning about the other individual and providing helpful information or contacts for him or her. The mutuality factor will kick in when the time comes that you need information or contacts (whether in a job search or in any other aspect of your life), and people will respond in kind.

Because introverts enjoy – and need – their solitude, it’s easy sometimes to forget about the importance of the relationships in our lives and to assume that the ones we already have are sufficient. A good New Year’s resolution would be to actively and consciously nurture your existing relationships and perhaps seek out opportunities to foster a few new ones.

Wendy Gelberg can be contacted at wendy@gentlejobsearch.com

To all of my readers – thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideas this year. I look forward to working through 2009 together as a happy, quiet and introspective band of introverts. My best wishes to each of you for a Happy and Prosperous New Year! Lee Ann

photo: mandj98