photo: dcfdelacruz

The last couple posts have created a small brew ha ha about just how many of us (introverts, that is) there are. It’s been rather fun and really interesting to see what others have to say about this topic. But yesterday, it came to me that it just doesn’t matter. There could be 99 introverts for every 100 people roaming the planet right at this moment, and yet, right at this moment, we’re still dealing with feelings of alienation, being misunderstood and misjudged, superiority (oh, yes, there’s some of that!), and pleasure that we belong to what we consider to be a somewhat elite group. Some of us feel just plain happy to be introverted, because introversion brings with it some cool stuff. Others feel just plain miserable to be introverted because they can’t figure out what to do with it and why they aren’t like extroverted people (who whether they’re in the majority or minority, are just more “out there”). But the numbers don’t matter, unless you’re studying the evolution of personality or psychology or cultures. Here, we’re studying how to be happy introverts.

Let’s go back to basics. What makes us introverts? Not the genetic stuff, or the way we we’re raised, but the characteristics that are common for introverts. Here they are (feel free to add to the list if I’ve missed any):

• We don’t talk as much as extroverts unless we’ve had too much caffeine, booze or someone gets us going on something that is really important to us.
• We don’t share much personal information except with those we feel really comfortable with.
• We’re territorial.
• We communicate in a more precise and sometimes slower manner. We’re not known for shooting from the hip.
• We really, truly dislike it when someone invades our personal space without our permission.
• We love to think. Thinking and planning and figuring out and creating is wonderful!
• We like to observe the action before joining in – if the action is deemed unnecessary, not fun or ridiculous, we may completely refuse to join in.
• Conversations about nothing irritate us.
• We love to spend time alone (and plenty of it). In fact, we need to spend time alone.
• Many introverts are averse to loud noises. Contrary to that, I sometimes play my favorite CDs at a very high volume in my car, or when I’m working, but not often. I love peace and quiet above all else.
• We don’t get the whole idea of having to have people around us in order to be happy.
• We’re not antisocial – it’s just that we don’t enjoy socializing as much as most extroverts do.
• We’re not necessarily shy.
• We are supremely able to self-entertain. This is demonstrated from infancy in introverts.
• We don’t need others to help entertain us.
• We have fewer friends than most extroverts, and we’re happy with that situation – it’s normal for us. We may still have a wide circle of acquaintances.
• Socializing, being in crowds, and participating in group activities wears us out – we don’t get energy from these situations. We get energy from being alone.
• Most of us don’t want to be complete recluses or hermits – we want love and (some) friends and family in our lives. We understand that part of being human is the need and desire for human contact (just not as much as extroverts need and desire it).
• We tend to focus deeply on a few things rather than spreading ourselves thin.

What can you add to this list?

The new Living Introverted group on Facebook can be found right here.

The book release has been pushed back a few days – I’m still looking at the first week in March.

Thanks for reading!