The word persona is derived from the Greek word for those large masks that Greek actors used a long, long time ago in dramatic plays (heck, maybe they still do use them – I don’t know). While we don’t all have a fancy mask to stick over our faces for when we go to work, a party, to school, or the store, we all have a persona (sometimes more than one) that we put on when we’re in situations where we aren’t ready or willing to let our inner selves just hang out there for everyone to see. This is acceptable – most everyone wears a persona at times.

Elaine N. Aron talks a bit about persona in her book, The Highly Sensitive Person. She says that the persona is who you present yourself to the world as. A persona is what we use to “normalize” ourselves to fit into some sort of social mold, at least marginally. The persona acts as an equalizer until people get to know each other better.

I sort of balk at this idea. I don’t want to have to be a fake anything, or mask my real personality. But I know that in some instances, a persona can be quite useful.

For example, my “meeting new people” persona is smiling, relaxed, and quiet, but not stand-offish. This is more for the comfort of those I meet than for myself. I don’t know that the new people I meet would understand if I introduced myself with a quick handshake, a nod and a comment about myself being very introverted, so please don’t talk to me too much. Nor would I get it if an extrovert walked up to me and said, “Hi, I’m Mary and I’m really extroverted so I’d like to hug you instead of shake hands and then I want to learn all about you!” So instead, we all meet in the middle until we can figure each other out.

This is a part of the social dance that everyone does. We let each other see a little about us, but we avoid revealing ourselves too deeply – we wear a mask.

If this seems deceptive to you, well maybe it is a little. But it’s the way the social rituals of meeting new people or being in certain situations have evolved. This time it’s about allowing a measure of comfort for yourself and everyone else until time gives way to deeper and better understanding of each other.

So, what should you do with the personas that you’ve developed? I would say that you should use them. But I would also say that you should not go overboard with them.

A persona is a mask. Masks are meant to alter your appearance a bit, but not change it permanently. Don’t become your persona – it’s a tool to be used in certain situations until a level of comfort is (or is not) established. Leave some of your introvert in that persona, so that when it comes off people aren’t shocked.