2009 Wrap Up – This Introvert is Tired, But Hopeful
Here it is – my 2009 wrap up. I have to say that I’m looking forward to 2010.
2009 was a rough year for me – rougher than anyone but my ever-loving and patient husband knows. As stressful, difficult and crappy as it was, I have to give 2009 credit for teaching me many valuable lessons (and leaving me with some scars that will serve as reminders of lessons), not to mention giving me a few truly wonderful moments, for which I am grateful.
So, here’s what I know now, that I didn’t know then (or if I did know it, I hadn’t yet tested it to be sure it was true):
Never, ever, utter the words, “Well, it can’t get any worse”. Yes, it can.
When you die (which I haven’t yet, so this is still not really tested), most of the crap you’re freaking out over right now won’t matter.
You have to take risks. You just have to.
You’re (I’m, whoever) more beautiful than you think you are. This is utterly true.
You might as well try things. If you don’t then what are you doing?
Consuming large doses of Christmas cookies is a bad idea for several reasons.
Denial is a bad thing. It’s much better to just find out the truth about yourself and deal with it (constructively).
People might dislike you for stupid reasons. That makes them stupid, not you.
Find something to be grateful for.
If you want friends, you have to be a friend (this is a famous quote from someone – I don’t know who, and I’m not trying to steal quotes).
Hating your neighbors only makes you uncomfortable and unhappy.
Hope will always overcome despair.
You can’t fail by trying.
We make our lives. Yes, we have to overcome obstacles. Some have nearly insurmountable barriers to get through. Just keep trying. I have the words “Make Yourself” tattooed on my wrist. The words are there for a reason, and I need to remind myself more often of why I had them put there.
I know for sure that a bad year doesn’t make a bad life. I know who I am and what I’m capable of. I know that I’m capable of more than I think. This applies to you, too.
I hope your 2009 was filled with wonder and happiness. I hope your 2010 is filled with more of that, and opportunities to grow. Happy New Year!
Hi:
I’m sorry 2009 wasn’t better for you. I had a couple of years in a row like that, 07 and 08 were just awful, awful years, but 2009 was pretty amazing. I’m looking forward to 2010, and I hope it’s better than 2009 for both of us. Which would make it absolutely incredible for me!
Hi Kim,
I’m happy to hear that you’ve had an awesome year!
You know, even though mine was rough, I know I have plenty, plenty, plenty to be grateful for – my husband is a saint – a wonderful person. I’ve got the best family in the world. We have a roof over our heads and food to eat. I am healthy, as are the people I hold most dear. Mentally and emotionally, 2009 was a draining roller coaster. But we learn and get stronger. 
Onward!
Hi Lee Ann, 2009 has been a tough year for me, too, both mentally and physically. Still, it could have been a lot worse, and at least the stuff I’ve been dealing with (exacerbated depression, spinal arthritis/nerve pinching)are treatable and I’m starting to feel better. Seems like years just go like that, as Kim stated above – 2007 was a bear for me, too. We’ll just have to see what 2010 has up its sleeve.
To add to your comments above, the Benedictine monks and nuns, and many Buddhists, would say that real failure is not having tried at all – to fail is to have tried; the trick is to get back up and try again, maybe look at it another way or try another technique.
If you’re heavier than you’d like, try to get your weight down if you can, but accept your body meanwhile; ask the people in the world who are thin because they are starving and don’t have enough to eat is being model-thin is a great thing to be.
As to Christmas cookies, the Benedictines would again say, All things in moderation. That’s hard in relation to Christmas cookies, though!
Hi Lee Ann,
So Sorry your year hasn’t been the best. This year has been the most trying for me as well. It’s been unbearable at times. Verging on a nervous breakdown kind of unbearable. But, your Blog has really helped me out a lot.It has served as an anchor for me. I know I’m not alone and that can make all the difference. Thanks for creating this wonderful forum!
Regarding “Make Yourself”, does that mean Make Who You Are or Make Yourself Do What You Need To DO (or both or neither)?
Take care.
@ Joana – Yep – I’m with you on the trying and the moderation thing! You can never call yourself a failure if you keep trying. I suppose at some point one may have to give up on a certain thing if it’s just not going to work (say, a horrible relationship), but then it would be wise to try something else (not necessarily another bad relationship). And moderation – yes. I’m usually very good at that… but my hubby made some really good Christmas cookies, and you know…
I also suffer from depression. Usually it only happens during fall and winter (SAD), and can be rather severe. This year, I basically had what could only be diagnosed as major depression – pretty much all year. Cognitive behavioral therapy and light therapy has helped immensely.
Happy New Year to you!
@ Kristen – I’m happy this blog has helped you! We all go through extended rough periods. The trick I guess is to keep getting back up and to decide how we’re going to move forward. I hope 2010 is more gentle with you.
Happy Holidays!
@ Michael – My friend, Make Yourself, for me, means to make myself who I am. And to take care of myself. It’s the title to one of my favorite songs by Incubus (I don’t recommend that anyone who has sensitive ears listen to this song – there’s some colorful language in it). Basically this reminds me that if I don’t make myself into who I am, someone or something will try to make me fit into their mold – and I don’t want that.
I hope you enjoy the nice things about this season.
You have a wonderful sense of humor! I laughed and identified with many things on your list. At times, and I don’t know if this is an introvert trait or not, but at times, I feel ’stuck’in life, and say ‘is this all there is?’. But, then it is true that we can take action and make our lives more fulfilling. But, the key, is taking action-which I tend to think too much and not act. That being said, it is important to count our blessings and not focus on the negative too much. May everyone reading this has a peaceful and blessed season and 2010.
Amy – I think being “stuck” in life and feeling the “is this all there is?” is a normal part of life. It’s very very typical of midlife. We each have to come to terms with those answers. In my own experience, I stay “stuck” until I get fed up/tired of it, then I start finding something else. I think it helps to realize that some things really are “this is all there is” – the reality that one must work to make a living; that cleaning and dirt and chores will always be there; that some days are just a waste of energy. Our minds are powerful things, though, and we have to make our own meanings and purpose in life – and these can change – they don’t have to stay the same. There is a time to rest and a time to take action – balancing it is the tricky part!
If only all gatherings were like the one described in this cartoon:
http://img13.imageshack.us/i/introvertbachelorettepa.gif/
Best of luck to everyone over the holidays.
-Glen
(from the comic “Toothpaste for Dinner”
There’s always something to learn even in the worst of times. I think this quote was by MLK. It stated that we learn more about someone or something when we’re out of our element than when we’re in our own zone.
Glad you got something of out of 2009. I wish you and everyone else good fortune next year!
Happy Holidays,
Morpheus
Glen, I absolutely loved the comic strip! I bookmarked it and sent it to a few other introvert friends who chuckled mightily! Thanks!
Happy New Year to you too, and thank you for sharing your writing, giveing out that great book and doing all the things you do online this year! I am a fan and will be this new year too, which I hope will be a great one!