photo: Vanessa Pike-Russell

I’m love my shell. I would happily stay in it for days and maybe even weeks if I could. That would mean doing “my” thing, and no interaction except with a few select people.

Most introverts have their own thing, which involves solitary or at least semi-solitary activity – in the proverbial shell. And given the chance, we’ll stay in our shells. So what’s wrong with that? One part of me says that there’s nothing wrong with that. Introverts are made this way. And our shells are really cool.

But there’s another part of me that says there is something wrong with holing up as much as we might desire. This is why: If we all just hide ourselves away, we’re not doing ourselves or anyone else, for that matter, any good. And even as I type this, I feel my stomach do a little flip. I don’t want to be in that world – that crazy extrovert world!

But the world needs introverts. Can you imagine a world where everyone was so outward focused that they had no way and no one to reach inside and bring forth what comes from only very deep introspection? Maybe it would be fine, but I think something would be lost.

We can’t always choose to hide, or to avoid talking to the neighbor if we both happen to be in our yards at the same time. It’s not about proving that we can be social. It’s about sharing ourselves in a way that helps others know that we’re different, but we’re OK – we’re cool. It’s also about being a part of the greater community, and contributing our talents (yep, we all have them). That’s the greater community that includes extroverts. Why? Because we have things to share.

What if Billy Crystal or Johnny Carson had chosen to stay in their respective shells all the time? Who would we have laughed at (or with)? OK, someone else would’ve been funny for us. What if Jimmy Carter had just gone fishing after his Presidency instead of going to work for Habitat for Humanity? He’s now a respected organizer and statesman. What if Bill Gates had decided he didn’t want to be anything other than an introverted computer geek – he’s a huge philanthropist now – his level of celebrity is astounding.

The point is that we still have things to share that can contribute to the greater good. I’m not suggesting that each of us start a career as a politiician, comedian, public speaker, or statesman. What I’m saying is that as much as we sometimes resent giving our energy away, sometimes it’s OK to do so and sometimes it’s even rewarding. And sometimes it’s good for the world.

Don’t exhaust yourself. Don’t drain yourself. Do respect your limits and your own needs for physical and mental health and peace. But don’t deny the rest of the world your gifts either.

Note: This blog started out as this: “What Brings You Out of Your Shell?” The post was to ask you what types of atmospheres or activities will make you seem more extroverted. For me, I can easily shed my shell during the social ritual of concerts. I act very much like an extrovert at concerts. But the funny thing is that inside, I know I’m still introverted, and the crush of the crowd still tires me and annoys me, although the music counteracts that a lot. No alcohol or drugs – it’s just the atmosphere that will bring me out. Then the next day, I’m securely back in my own quiet world.

What brings you out of your shell – makes you look more like an extrovert?

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