Don’t freak out! I’m not suggesting that we all need “help”. But this thought came to mind about 90 seconds ago….. We tell each other ways to cope. We talk about dealing with extroverts. We wonder about surviving the holidays, college, the next networking event, a party, how to make friends, how to survive friends, or in my case, how to ask someone for help (I sometimes have a hard time asking for help – there I’ve said it).

Here’s a thought. What would happen if we employed some of the basic premises of cognitive behavioral therapy to our lives and our concerns, whether they’re introverted concerns or just concerns in general (concerns meaning stuff that bums us out, worries us, scares us, pisses us off, hurts our feelings, baffles us, confuses us, makes us want to hide under rocks, etc) to see if we can get past those things or climb over them?

You might be wondering where in the Sam Hill I came up with this cockamamie idea. Well, you know, I’ve seen it in action in my own life.

So onward. Cognitive behavioral therapy is basically this (thanks to the National Alliance on Mental Health): you focus on patterns of thinking that are maladaptive and the beliefs that have lead to such thinking. Then you look at that belief more as a hypotheses, rather than the only possible truth, and test that belief.

OK. It’s more involved than that. Because you have to pay attention to what you’re telling yourself. You have to keep track of thought patterns to see where your imagination might be running amok (I LOVE that phrase – running amok – so descriptive). And then you have to see if there are other, more truthful and productive thoughts that you can replace the negative ones with, thus creating a more healthy thought life and more positive outcomes.

Here’s the bonus – cognitive therapy seems to work well for people who are introspective, because those people are more comfortable with exploring what’s going on in their heads.

Somewhere out there, a psychologist is reading this and having kittens because I’ve probably done a hatchet job on describing cognitive behavioral therapy, and endangered the mental health of millions. Wait, what am I saying? Now my mind is running amok. Millions don’t read this blog…

And you’re saying, “What are you getting at, Lee Ann?” Well, it’s this. When you start freaking out because it’s the holiday season again, and you’re thinking about how horrid it will be, just take a moment to take a few deep breaths (because the holidays make us all shallow breathe), and ask yourself what the truth is. You might even want to put your thoughts/beliefs to the test. It’s true that sometimes we make things worse on ourselves than they really are.

And the holiday season is just an example. This can be applied to many situations and circumstances and it can help you discover where you might be hurting yourself with ongoing negative thoughts that may not be true (beware – some negative thought patterns look deceptively like positive, or at least helpful, ones).

Is this a correct use of cognitive therapy? Well, yeah. I mean it might not be exactly what you’d get if you were sitting at a psychologist’s office (heck, maybe it is). Will it change the fact that you’re an introvert? Nope. Is that OK? Yes. Might it make it easier to deal with some things? Yes, because we all do this – everyone – we take a situation that is upsetting or potentially upsetting and we often make it more upsetting or fear-filled.

Am I suggesting that you should try to use cognitive therapy to force yourself to go to all the holiday parties and spend the day after Thanksgiving at the mall with all the other happy shoppers? No Way! Have I made any sense at all with this post? I have no idea. I’m sure you’ll let me know.

By the way – if you want a more scholarly explanation of cognitive therapy, check this out.

Oh hey! One last note: I’ve given up on answering comments. This is because you guys are very prolific commenters, and things just get away from me! I LOVE THAT! I appreciate all the insight you’re sharing with me and with others here. On this Thanksgiving week (here in the US), I am thankful that you read and that you feel comfortable sharing. If you want to ask me something directly, please email me at livingintroverted at gmail.com (the “at” is there so I won’t get tons of spam – you know what to do with it). I do answer email, although it might take a few days.