photo: evilerin

This past weekend, my stepdaughters wanted to watch The Grinch – you know, the movie version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, with Jim Carrey. It seemed like a weird movie choice, considering that it’s October, but neither their father nor I were in the mood to argue about it, so we watched the Grinch. I like this movie. But I’m not a fan of the holidays.

What I mean is that I’m not a fan of the movement, noise, and chaos that comes with the holiday season – the grasping expectations and the sheer mess of it. But that’s just me, and it’s probably not fair to call the holiday season a mess, at least I suppose it isn’t. But for many, the holidays are considered prime time for lots of parties and gatherings, lots of music, running to the mall, and things to do – that sounds messy to me.

Don’t misunderstand, there are things I love about the holidays. These things mostly have to do with fires in the fireplace, cookies, a few pretty decorations, quiet holiday music, watching The Nutcracker or a great performance of The Messiah, and the exchange of a few meaningful gifts that are well-appreciated.

For many of us, the holidays bring so much negative junk that we get completely discombobulated by the time they’re over, with some of us giving in to dark and dreary moods, some of us just plain crabby, and some of us vowing never, ever, to be subjected to this craziness again. Scrooges and Grinches all.

What can an introvert do?

Well, for one, I recommend taking a look at your reasons for celebrating the holiday season. Are they religious? Do you celebrate because it’s something that everyone does? Do you feel pressured? Is it for giving and getting cool presents? Is it because the cheerful lights make you feel better when the days and nights are so cold and dark?

Depending on your reasons for celebrating, and you might have more than one reason, you can work to find ways to make the holidays more personally meaningful, or you can choose to stop recognizing the winter holidays at all.

Because of the way our society focuses on the outward and what we’re doing, it can be hard to turn the holidays into something more meaningful and comfortable for us, the introverts of the world. There seems to be a certain way to do the holidays, and it usually runs contrary to our need for silence, solitude and reverent consideration. Trying to change our way of handling the holidays might upset some and confuse others, leading to misunderstandings, arguments and hurt feelings.

Personally, I’ve made it a rule that I go to, or host, one Thanksgiving dinner. Not multiples. Period. I’ve also made it very clear that during the month of December, I will involve myself in no more than three holiday get-togethers. This accommodates my own family and my in-laws, and leaves room for New Years Eve or a different evening with a few friends. I’m grateful that I don’t have a holiday work party to deal with – I know that many of you do.

My own decision to limit my holiday party participation has not always been met with joyful acceptance. Frankly, the stand I’ve taken has caused some trouble. But the consequence of just doing what everyone else wants and expects is a me that is doomed to being pretty much wrecked by December 20, dreading the rest of the year and praying furtively for mid-January. So I believe that being quietly involved in some parties and turning down invites to others is a fair compromise.

I think that we’re all interested to hear how other introverted people will handle this year’s holiday season, what they’ve done in the past that worked and what did not work; and any suggestions that can be shared for not only surviving the holiday season but even enjoying it.

If you don’t celebrate the holidays in a traditional way, you can share that, too!

Please chime in!